Category: Marriage Blog

The pressure to volunteer at any and everything is incredible. But you need to fight the peer pressure.

You need to discern between which of many activities is truly your ministry at this time in your life.

Between women’s ministries, children’s programs, neighborhood outreach, hospitality and couple’s Bible study, there’s barely time. As a couple who saw the danger of our family being bogged down with activities several nights a week, we decided we needed to keep our family time intact and so we cut back….way back.

There will be a time when you, or, more likely “your family”, will be able to staff the important positions to keep a church running, but while your family is growing, your biggest impact on the church and those around it will be a well-trained, God-loving and God-fearing family.

So when do you know when it’s time to branch out and get involved again?

When the seeds that you planted in your home are bearing fruit.

Until then, nurture their growth.

Ask yourself these questions to see if you’re too busy with church programs:

1. Is the family sense of peace sacrificed?
2. Do you snap at your kids when they need you because you only have time for OTHER people’s needs from church when they call you?
3. Is your husband hinting that he would like to see you at home more?
4. Are you volunteering in programs only because no one else will?
5. Do you base your worth as a Christian on how overflowing your calendar looks?

If you answered yes to the above, then it’s time to stop.

It’s time to come home.

The pre-requisite to openness to life in a marriage is a self-giving spouse.

“I’d love to have more children but my husband says we’re done.” Are you complaining about the kids, the house, dumping your struggles on him as he walks through the door? Many husbands put up with more than they should when a wife nags, sulks or complains, and he may feel that adding another child will only worsen her attitude and behavior.

Or, maybe you’re mentally hanging onto that ever-so-important career you once had, and the degree you think you should be going after, or you’re continually entertaining a difference you once made in the world. Take a closer look: as an employee you are replaceable, degrees equal debt, the certificate will gather dust, and maybe you did impact a person or two in the past, but they have moved on and now so should you.

However, YOU are the only one, the only woman, who can most fully mother your child, and your days of fertility are limited. There really is freedom and the correct kind of spiritual pride in realizing that where you can make the greatest impact on other people, including your own children, is right now where you are as a mother.

Thankfully God has already fully equipped you for this position.