Natural Family Planning and the Christian Marriage
Renee: When I bought a beautiful, handcrafted, wooden bassinet from a young mother whose husband created it, I had to find out the story behind it. Unfortunately, they decided to end their fertility due to complications with getting pregnant.
What I found out saddened me, and I want to offer hope to those who may receive discouraging information from their medical providers regarding their fertility. Don’t give up!
Amy’s Story
I’ll be happy to share our own story and a funny one about a student couple. While I didn’t actual end up with infertility issues, that wasn’t how things looked from the beginning for us.
In your (your student’s)case, was there a reason diagnosed for the infertility? If yes, what was it?
Yes, prior to marriage I only had 2-3 cycles/year.
Did practicing NFP help you conceive?
The doctors didn’t know if I was ovulating or not and I was completely ignorant. They gave me a temp chart to start using in order to determine what was going on. It was during the 2nd or 3rd month of charting temps that I actually conceived our son. It was our 5th month of marriage. As I said though, I was completely ignorant and didn’t know what I was looking at. It was only when I began to change physically that I realized I might be pregnant- a full month after conception. Even now, looking back at that chart in hindsight, there wasn’t a real clear cut thermal shift- it was more gradual.
After Kevin, we began Creighton method classes. We were in the midst of trying to differentiate between fertile mucus and non-fertile mucus when, once again, we surprisingly conceived. Although we welcomed the blessing, we were really frustrated trying to learn NFP. We had abstained from relations for over two months prior to conception while I experienced all-the-time mucus. Finally the mucus was gone for four days so we believed I was infertile and finally ended the period of abstaining. However, mucus returned for a day or two. Then we were so excited I was actually dry. We soon came to realize it was because I was pregnant again. They called it a “double-peak” cycle.
A week after our 2nd child, Lauren, was born, we began to take CCL classes. We felt a huge relief knowing that there was more information we could gain from our charting and that all the pressure wasn’t just on me to determine fertile/infertile mucus. How could any NFP couple live w/o a temperature sign??? 🙂
I experienced breastfeeding infertility for the first year. It was a difficult time in our marriage as I wasn’t sure if the breastfeeding would really delay my fertility or not since I was working full time and only pumping once or twice a day. Because of our strong desire to postpone pregnancy the morally right way, we experienced long periods of abstinence. After that, CCL counsel led me to improve nutrition through vitamins and oils. For the first time in my life, my cycles became consistent. They were still long (about 35-45 days), but at least consistent. We have cooperated with the Lord in conceiving five more times since our 2nd child was born. We finally know when I am fertile, and when I’m not! Three of these precious lives have gone before us to meet Our Father and Creator. (Another whole story… likely related to blood clotting disorder although not confirmed with the small panel of tests that were run. I now take a baby aspirin and blood thinners when pregnant and I’ve been able to bring to life on earth the last two children.)
It is usually the first or second cycle making use of fertile days that we conceive. Even if we are only together once or twice during that fertile time.
Now, the funny story. We had a couple come take our classes to help conceive. They had been trying for several months and were beginning the physician route I think, but wanted to give NFP a chance. They were very eager and energetic. They were really confused trying to interpret her temperature sign though. It was all over the place. We asked several questions and couldn’t seem to identify any cause for the situation. Then one day she phoned me and asked about how long she was supposed to be waiting before removing the thermometer. That morning she “had not taken it out right away when it beeped and then noticed it beeped again, and again, until finally there was the tweeting and it stopped!” From then on we always let couples know they need to wait til after several beeps before they mark their temperature. This couple did finally conceive with in a few cycles and have had two other children as well.
-Amy
Jennifer’s story
I am happy to share my experience of NFP & infertility. However, I want to say that NFP, particularly sympto-thermal(STM) forms of NFP can only take an infertile couple so far. NFP is very helpful in identifying if/when a woman is ovulating, which can be important in order for correct timing of intercourse and testing, and can identify things like inadequate cervical mucus or short luteal phases. It may help indicate things like PCOS by noticing long cycles and unusually long mucus patches in phase 2.
For anything beyond these factors, it is much more helpful to turn to the Creighton method of NFP. After learning and using NFP with CCL for 10+ years and teaching for many of those years, it is very impressive to me what a NaPro doctor can learn from a Creighton chart. Because Creighton is a mucus-only method, they do a very, very good job of teaching the mucus sign and I learned a lot just from being a student. Of course, 10+ years of practice makes it very difficult for me to ignore my temperature sign, so I continue to use that as a secondary sign and continue to question why they don’t use temperature at all, particularly for women with difficult cycles. But that’s another story…
Creighton resources are important for couples trying to achieve pregnancy, particularly for women who are in their mid-30s and older. Time is definitely an issue and while NaPro doctors are finding success with women well into their 40s, if a couple has 3 months of anovulatory charts or 6 months of good charts & good timing with no results, they need to start checking into medical answers. In my experience and in the experience of many other women is that secular ob/gyns will at best ignore charts and worse will mock the women for charting or completely disregard NFP charts; NaPro doctors are the way to go!
I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2000.
NFP was very important for me in helping me conceive. Both times I conceived around day 23. Traditional medicine would have told me that I would ovulate around day 14. Had I not been charting, my husband & I wouldn’t have necessarily been timing intercourse around the time of actual ovulation. Knowing that I ovulated late also helped me know when my due date was, since by traditional calendars, I would have been off by 10 days.
Charting was important to me so that my testing was done correctly. Traditionally, an ob/gyn will have a woman come in on day 17 for “post-ovulation” testing. Well, in my case, day 17 was still pre-ovulation. Testing on day 17 would have been a waste of time, money and bloodwork.
I knew for about 2 years that I wasn’t ovulating based on my charts. I had almost non-existent cervical mucus and my temperatures were irregular and never showed a shift. Because I was charting, I knew that the periodic spotting that I experienced was not a true period. I also had records showing that occasionally I would go for up to 3 months without any menstrual bleeding, which can increase risks of uterine cancer. So by monitoring my cycles, I could go to my doctor and induce a withdrawal bleeding for the safety of my uterine health.
From the time of diagnosis to pregnancy was about 4 months the first time (after 18 months to get the diagnosis). I did not conceive naturally; I was on multiple medications. My second pregnancy happened very quickly, my 2nd postpartum cycle. Since my cycles resumed 5+ years ago we have not been able to achieve pregnancy again. Nine months ago, after exhausting the medical resources in my town, I turned to a NaPro doctor who practices 5 hours away from my home. I submitted two months of Creighton charts along with my previous medical records and have been impressed with how many things Creighton doctors can diagnose that my local docs never even looked into, as well as the variety of treatments that are outside the usual ob/gyn track of clomid-iui-ivf. The other cool thing about NaPro is that they will treat the male side of infertility as well, where poor male fertility will usually make doctors even more likely to push illicit technologies.
I invite women to join an email group I moderate for Catholic women trying to achieve pregnancy: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/catholic-fertility/ The group is only for women who are faithful to the church’s teachings on fertility treatment and is a great resource and support group.
-Jennifer
The following experience with infertility was written by Mary, a Couple to Couple League teacher who used what she knows about Natural Family Planning to conceive, after experiencing infertility at age 38.
Mary’s Story:
My husband and I experienced secondary infertility after the birth of our third child. I was about 38 years old and began to experience miscarriages. My doctors didn’t want to run tests until I had three miscarriages, and honestly, I didn’t want to go through it again.
I contacted (through the Couple to Couple League office) Marilyn Shannon and was given some specific nutritional advice, which helped to conceive our fourth child, who was born when I was 40. Three years later, I experienced a third miscarriage, and I again consulted Marilyn Shannon, who gave me additional advice, and we were blessed with our fifth child who was born when I was 45.
What charting revealed was that my luteal phases were only about eleven days long. That didn’t concern me, because I had for my entire marriage luteal phases that were just eleven days long, unless I was pregnant. When I followed Marilyn Shannon’s advice, my luteal phases increased to 14 days, both times.
If memory serves, it took several (3-6 months) to conceive baby number 4. It took longer than a year to conceive baby number 5.
Here’s what I did:
First, a really good prenatal vitamin, such as Lifetime Professional Prenatal Formula (available at kuhar.com) and add to that enough of the following to make a total of:
100 mcg Folic Acid per year of age (for example, if you are 40, take 4000 mcg.)
1000 mg Magnesium
300 mg B6
1000 mcg B12
75 mg Zinc
1000-3000 mg Vitamin C
3 to 6 capsules Flax Seed oil
Please understand that the amounts of Folic Acid, etc, are whatever is in the prenatal, and then add what you need to get the total. I take the prenatal, plus a BComplex, plus 5 capsules each with 800 mcg to make my total for Folic Acid.
Please note also, that this has not been subjected to any scientific study, it’s what they call “anecdotal”. As in, people are sharing what has worked for them. This is not a “proven” therapy. On the other hand, it seemed to work for me……
Mary, CCL Teacher
Due to an interest in more natural means of birthing among NFP advocates, I’m posting my home birth experience here.
My first baby delivery experience was typical from what others were telling me they experienced: water broke, went to the hospital, Pitocin (to speed up labor), Epidural, delivery and home the next day. I had my formula-and-pacifier-stocked-Enfamil tote bag, immunization newborn records and hospital photo in hand: we passed our first test of responsible parenthood, according to hospital guidelines.
Motherhood was great, though I counted myself a breastfeeding failure due to poor milk supply. I gave up when the baby was four months old, but by hospital standards, that too, was completely acceptable and expected.
By the time I was pregnant with baby #2, I had done some reading on the natural birth experience, vaccinations, breastfeeding and attachment parenting, and studied the Bradley Method. I was armed (and dangerous?) when I went in for my scheduled ob appointment, a week after my due date, still pregnant. Lo and behold, the doctor informed me that it was time to deliver and he had the night free to do so. All my best intentions at natural childbirth left when the Pitocin kicked in, and so it was a repeat of Pitocin, Epidural, Enfamil-tote, and the hospital photo. I won the battle with the immunization nurse (only because that was the year the medical field decided that administering the Hepatitis B shot on a newborn wasn’t such a good idea).
Enter the Option of Home Birth
Several months later my friend Cathy talked about the home birth experience she had using a local midwife. The main question in my head at that time was, “how can you live without the Epidural?” and the afterthought… “is home birth even safe?”
I don’t remember exactly what it was that convinced me I wanted to try it but I do recall Cathy’s complete trust in her midwife – she raved about Dottie. I certainly didn’t think that highly of my OB doctor. I was curious what would cause such a difference in her experience. Her positive relationship with the person who helped bring her child into the world, and her upbeat attitude about her birthing experience made me a convert. But how in the world would I get my husband on board?
We needed a speaker at our local Natural Family Planning group meeting and Cathy offered to talk about home birth. She did a fantastic job, after he heard the talk, my husband was also on board.
Fast forward several more months, to a meeting with Dottie and a positive pregnancy test. Things were running smoothly and other than the fear and apprehension about not having the pain killers (oh yeah, and my husband’s teeny tiny fear that if something did go wrong, would we make it to the hospital in time?), I was ready to do this.
What Made Us Decide to Home Birth?
We grilled Dottie on transports (when something goes wrong during delivery and mom must be transported to the hospital for possible surgical intervention). What we found out was that the vast majority of home births run smoothly. It’s a question of risk, really – there are other concerns of risk when you deliver in a hospital. Looking back, I questioned if maybe, just maybe, my poor milk supply was due to all the drugs being administered before and during delivery. In addition to the Pitocin and Epidural, there were the antibiotics for Group B Strep. And although the hospital was set up for the natural birth experience, complete with a lactation consultant on hand, classes on natural childbirth and a labor tub in each room, it really came down to the nurses on duty and the doc who would give the directives. The beds were “take-apart” beds which allow for various pushing positions, but these weren’t even offered as an option for me. In fact, my experience and that of others show that most hospital deliveries happen with a woman lying flat on her back. The woman is pressured into taking the drugs (at her most vulnerable, emotional moment) and the medical personnel seem to have absolutely no interest in following a birth plan.
TRUST is huge, I discovered, and when the medical experts whisk away your newborn for various tests, vitamin administration, and photo poses, that little no pacifier, please note doesn’t always get noticed.
So, mostly motivated by the milk supply issue, and the feeling that I could really, truly experience the entire labor from start to finish without any other hospital intervention, we were going to have this baby at home.
Surprise, Surprise!
We didn’t have the home birth experience after all.
At 16 weeks, Dottie began to pick up what she thought were two heart tones. I blew it off because 1.) what were the chances that we’d have twins? I mean… really? 2.) I wanted to have this baby at home. I waited five months before having an ultrasound. Dottie joined Jonathan and me in the x-ray room and the minute we saw an aerial view of two heads on the screen, Jonathan and I laughed in almost-hysterics. It was such a sweet surprise.
I’m pretty sure a home birth with known multiples was illegal in Colorado at that time, and we decided a higher risk pregnancy like that meant we should deliver in the hospital. I waited as long as I could before beginning to see an OB doc, and when I did, I went with someone highly recommended. In the meantime, I used Dottie for my prenatal visits, and she continued to keep me as a patient at my request.
About three weeks before my due date, I went in to see my OB doctor, and to my complete surprise, she told me I was in active labor. (My first naĂŻve thought – wow, am I one of the lucky few who doesn’t experience labor pain?) And so, a c-section was scheduled within the hour, to be finished before the end of her shift. The experience with nurses who fed my twins against my expressed instructions, who purposefully kept me from nursing, and the great, big question of “was this c-section unavoidable?” left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s not that I questioned the medical staff’s technical ability to cut and do surgery on their own schedule, but I question their integrity as to the “why” and the medical need for doing so. And you can never get straight answers. Add to that the fact that we now live in a state (California) where “once a c-section, always a c-section.” VBACs aren’t an option in the hospitals here.
As for the milk supply this time? I used hospital grade pumps, prescribed Reglan, Domperidone, supplemental lactation system (SNS), herbs like fenugreek and marshmallow root, and still, the twins were fed a whole lot of formula. Overall, I was proactively trying to boost my supply and it was better than before, but it wasn’t until the next baby that I saw a big improvement.
My First Home Birth Experience
Almost two years later, Dottie delivered baby #5, in our two-bedroom townhome, at 5:30 a.m. on August 30th, 2003.
I had labored on and off throughout the day (realizing that I truly did know what labor pain felt like), and called Dottie probably several hours too soon. She came over anyway, and offered advice like walking, resting, and later, performing squats to help the baby to move into position. When the pain was intense, I slid into the warm “spa” Dottie had set up in our bedroom, and this time I was able to apply some of the Bradley techniques. I found pushing to be more efficient while squatting and things worked quickly and smoothly with a change in position. Dottie “caught” baby Gideon, 30 minutes before our second born woke up to meet his new brother. Labor pain was intense, I won’t lie, but what a huge feeling of accomplishment when it’s all over.
Best of all, recovery was so much faster for me. I didn’t walk around with that drugged-out feeling that was common after a hospital birth. I felt refreshed.
Home Birth Experience #2 and #3
I’ve gone on to have two more home births with a midwife here in California. Nora’s medical expertise kicked in full gear when I experienced hemorrhaging after the last birth (due to my low platelets that I experience during my pregnancies). She’s also closely monitored my platelet counts throughout my pregnancies and I’ve been able to boost my platelets with natural means (namely, beets!), avoiding drug intervention altogether.
With all my home birth experiences, what I’ve enjoyed most is the atmosphere of the appointments – birth is seen as beautiful, natural, and very pro-life. The images on the walls are adorned with life-giving examples that encourage women to be mothers, a stark difference from the birth control advocate posters and AIDS testing in the medical offices.
As for my milk supply? With each birth since the twins, my breastfeeding supply has been increasingly better. I am alert after delivery, I nurse the baby right away, I drink plenty of water, and then I nurse some more. I pretty much make it my full-time job to nurse the baby, eat healthy, and take supplemental milk-boosting herbs for a good month to get that supply up. Baby number seven was fed exclusively breast milk with no formula supplementation.
If you choose home birth:
As they approach their 14th year wedding anniversary, Jonathan and Renee reminisce the early years and reveal what a newlywed couple who wants to live the NFP lifestyle can hope for.
Jonathan and Renee discuss the way NFP opens the lines of communication between husband and wife. NFP forces the couple to think about the way they use NFP.
NFP is not just the “wife’s thing.” What’s in it for the man? Jonathan and Renee reveal…
Renee stresses the importance of making healthy changes to your diet to get your body prepped for motherhood. Here’s what she did…
Do you ever wonder how the church is to discover its future leaders? The book of Titus Chapter 5 in the New Testament says we are to look to the households to find men that are already doing a good job of managing the people under their care. This makes sense. If the man is cooperating with the Holy Spirit and is obedient to God’s Word, then the evidence should be manifest. The care and direction of the church deserves nothing less.
Specifically, Titus says the church is to find men with these characteristics:
husband of one wife
having children who believe
having children not accused of rebellion
not self-willed
not fond of sordid gain
hospitable
self-controlled
holding fast to the faithful word
So what does this mean to us men? That the future church needs you in order to discover its leaders – so hang in there. You matter to the church just as much as you matter to your wife and children.